Friday, December 9, 2011


This summer and fall, it was both laughable and infuriating to see NBA commissioner David Stern take it between the cheeks every lockout day from the vampire owners (led by Greatest and Dumbest Dickhead of All Time, Michael Jordan); and lying every day to the sports media about everything. And now Stern allows this blatant hijacking of a three-team, league-changing, completely above-board trade!

However, as someone who's always bled Purple-and-Gold: what were the Lakers thinking here? Blowing most of your trade value on a point guard who's as fragile as he is magnificent? (With L.A. having one of the most brutal 66-game schedules in the shortened season.) Without Paul signing an extension? And without receiving in return the underrated Emeka Okafor as replacement big man for Gasol? Most important, any future deal for the incomparable (and indestructible) Dwight Howard becomes impossible without Odom or Gasol available to send along with the benumbed Andrew Bynum.

You did it for your usual slimy reasons, David -- but thank you! (Even though Gasol and Odom -- notoriously moody players under the best of circumstances -- have already started their funks.)

Back to the plantation for NBA darkies. Or in the words of great Pacers forward Danny Granger:
"Due to the sabotaging of the LA/NO trade by David Stern and following in the footsteps of my athlete brethern Metta World Peace and Chad Ochocinco, I'm changing my last name to 'Stern's Bitch', effective immediately."

Plantation Update: the reigning Sixth Man of the Year for draft "considerations"!!